09:13pm 12/08/2006
mood: optimistic
I'm in Chicago for the campus campaign manager Teach For America conference. I really didn't feel like coming just because I'm tired of flying and other stress, but I'm actually really glad I came. I really am learning a lot about the program and am highly considering applying.

I am kinda a dork though. Instead of exploring Chicago I ended up stying in the hotel room with my cool soon to be co-worker and phone banked to my AIR students. I hadn't talked to them in such a long time. They were actually really glad that I called. Sometimes I get discouraged that we are not impacting students in AIR, but other times like today, they actually tell me that the project is working for them.

Lately I've been super stressed about a variety of financial issues. Three apartments (don't ask), New York, loans, ah. Fun.... not. Hoooopefully, I get the Latino Alumni scholarship. I had a phone interview for it today. The committee chair told me I'm the top applicant so far. That was the best news this week, and it came at the best time.

I'm happy with my summer internship. I'm working for AFSCME working with the UCLA pharmacy technicians. Union work is also a lot of fun and very rewarding. I love interacting with people, which is probably why I like it so much.

Overall, despite financial stress (and an incomplete I need to make up), things aren't bad. I really shouldn't complain. I feel very fortunate for everything. This conference has really made me reflect on all the opportunities that I've had in my life.

I'm also happy because RJ is staying with me. He's looking for an apartment and a job (jobs?). So yeah. I might take him to my house next Sunday. Dum dum dum... meet the parents perhaps? I'm kinda worried about that. Haven't exactly told my mom yet, probably should.

Next year I'm going to be super busy. I'm both concerned and excited. I can't believe its my last year... I'll really miss UCLA.

Anywayss... yeah. I need to work on some prep work for tomorrow.
08:57pm 01/08/2006
  so fucking stressed.


Too many things at once. Two internships, three apartments, parents, follow-up, classes. Eek!
Back in LA...   
03:22pm 31/07/2006
  Its been over a month since I left. There was some drama here and there that happened, which made my trips slightly more eventful.

I am very surprised my dad has not told me one thing about visiting RJ in Sacramento. I am very surprised. I expected a whole argument and everything. I was prepping my arguments, my counter arguments, but fortunately I haven't gotten any shit for it. I think my parents have just come to accept that I know what I'm doing and that I don't put up with double standards.

Anyways, I need to go. I have work to catch up with for my Teach For America internship. I'm leaving for Chicago in a few days, kinda excited, also a little burnt out from flying. My other internship for the labor union starts this Wednesday. Its gonna be intense I heard, but its cool. I want to learn how to organize, and I also need money.

I am so broke from New York. So work= good. I'm considering getting a second job. It might feel insane, but I rather overwork than be poor. I also have a higher rent to pay this year because I have my own room. But it'll be worth it. I just want personal space for once. I like having roommates because they keep me company, but its hard when you want to bring people over.

I'm going to miss living with Lauren and Susy, we had fun times in apartment 304. Me and Lauren will see each other often, USAC always seems to bring us together.

Yay for a new year.
02:00pm 21/07/2006
mood: wet
Things have been going great here in NY. I did an internship, which turned out to be much less work than taking the other class (interns were exempt from writing one paper and taking a quiz worth almost half a grade for another class), in addition to receiving an entire 4 units graded for the internship.

Today was the last day, but I guess things can't always be perfect. First of all, the weather is super crazy here right now. A few days ago we were experiencing a severe heat wave, right now there is the most crazy thunder storm ever. POOOOOUUURING rain with lots and lots of lightening and thunder. Me and my internship friend got so soaked. Then I just got my haircut. To make a long story short, I was tricked into a $150 haircut. I won't go into details because I don't want to think too much about it anymore (it hurts too much), but yeah. Actually, it wasn't even the haircut. A fucking blow dry that I didn't ask for was $50. Yeah.

But other than that, no other bad things have happened. I seemed to have cleared up my boyfriend drama with my parents. I'll be heading over to Sacramento soon, that back home. I need to call my friend and tell her I don't want to go to Portland. I'm going to be burnt out of trips by the end of the summer. I just want to relax at home (even though I probably won't be able to, considering I have a class to complete and two internships waiting for me when I get back).

Rain is nice ultimately, when you are indoors.
02:14pm 12/07/2006
mood: calm
Today we went to Queens. I really enjoyed it. It is one of the most ethnically diverse enclaves in New York. Right now there is a storm, but its so relaxing. I love having an entire room to myself with a view of the bridge.

Later I'm going to start working on my research papers, but first I just want to relax and enjoy the thunder.

But an update on some drama. I confirmed with my mom that I am going to fly out directly to Sacramento to visit my boyfriend. I warned her about it a few days ago and she didn't say much. But now that my plans are final she started tripping. She said I'm "too liberal." Which, is true, but, I've always been. It's cheaper to fly out directly to Sacramento than to fly back to LA, then have to take another plane to and from Sacramento. Plus, timing wise its just more convenient.

I'm really excited because we are going to go rafting and then take a trip to San Francisco. I haven't been there since 10th grade, so it should be a lot of fun.

But yes, I really love New York. I'm glad I'm having the opportunity to just live here and not be rushed with time and try to do everything. I've been pretty good about not spending too much money on food. I've also haven't gone crazy shopping for clothes, which is a miracle for me. Yeah, I bought some stuff, but nothing extravagant.
fun times in nyc...   
06:45pm 08/07/2006
  Today was a good day. I went to my internship, got out early. Hung out with my friend Jessica from UCLA who is teaching in NY for Teach For America. We went to this really god pizza place called Sal's. I ordered really good red wine, and didn't even get carded. Then we met up with my friend Shakira and went to Rice to Riches and had rocky road rice pudding. Absolutely delicious.

I'm probably going to go salsa dancing later tonight. Yay!
NY fun...   
08:48pm 30/06/2006
  I really like NY. I don't think I could live here (WAY too expensive, tempermantal weather), but I month is perfect.

I went to H&M again today... ah, no more spending.

Class is good, I like my group.

I'm really lazy to update. Plus, I'm going out dancing soon. Yay! Hooray for being 21.

My boyfriend might come to visit at the end of the month. I'm excited. It'll be cook hanging out with him here.

I have my own room (a double, but my roommate moved into another room with a friend). I have the best view of the Brooklyn Bridge. It's quite nice.

My brother came to visit a few days ago. I'm glad he came. I knew he'd enjoy it here.

Anyways, time is up. Must go meet people.
meetings rock...   
12:18pm 10/02/2006
mood: good. home.
One midterm down, one more to go. I'm going to really study for this one today, tomorrow, Sunday, and Tuesday morning. I formed a study group, so I'm not too worried.

Overall, I can't complain about how things are going right now. I've been making an effort to work on improving myself, and keeping my new year's resolution goals. Classes are good. I really like all my classes. I just need to start focusing on them more than on work and activities. I've been going to the gym, which makes me happy. I've been eating better too. Taking lunch to school really helps because last quarter I was on sugar highs all the time because processed food is cheap. Also taking my pills are beginning to clear up my face. Stupid hormones.

AISA is doing really good right now. I had a few incidents, but they've been resolved. There is no drama like last quarter, and I'm actually really excited about the conference. I can't believe it is in a month. After working on it for over 5 months, its like a dream come true. We've accomplished a lot. If we can inspire at least a few students to look into college as an option, then all the nights I stayed up writing budget proposals and hours and hours of work during my breaks were all worth it.

I came home last night. I like coming home and then staying parts of Friday. It sucks a little when there are parties on Saturday, but overall I think I'll manage having my Saturday class.

I bought my plane ticket to NY yesterday. I'm going to stay an extra week to just kick it on my own. Maybe I'll meet some cool people on the program. So excited! But I don't want to think about it because it's still months away.

Shit. I can't believe half of the school year is over. Insane. I'm still tripping over graduating next year. AH!

More excited than scared? That's what I'm feeling like now, but I'm sure it'll change next year.

Aight. Peace out everyone. Have a nice day.
In the eve of my last final...   
09:11pm 15/12/2005
mood: marx, weber, durkheim... fun.
It sucks having a final the very last day, the very last possible time slot.

I feel prepared, yet I keep studying because it's finals, and that's how it should be... right?

Had I taken my final today, I'd be able to prepare for tomorrow's trip. Damn, I still need to pack and figure out the directions. I'm worried because it's probably going to be snowing, and driving in snow is no fun.

I'm definitely looking forward to the retreat because Virginia is going to be there. It's been so long since I've seen her. The last time was at the summer retreat, when the situation was tense.

I am optimistic that next quarter is going to be good. Not to say that this quarter was overall bad, because it wasn't. It was just stressful trying to take care of AISA stuff, dealing with internal politics, trying to coordinate the conference, still working for the project, and keeping on top of my schoolwork, on top of some other personal issues. There were definitely bad moments... like writing two budgets in two days in addition to a paper and going to meeting. But then, there were really good moments where I got to learn so many new things, meet new people, and just enjoy the position as president.

Yesterday my mom thought I had been abducted by some random man. We were talking, my service cut out, and I thought she heard the part where I said "i'm gonna go because you are cutting out." Apparently this was not the case. She called me, but the call didn't go through. When she finally was to get through to me, all angry, yelling that my dad had called my cell and a man picked up. Ughh... maybe he called the wrong number.

There ain't no man in the apartment.

I think I'm going to leave soon. I'm in Kerchoff... they have free coffee nights during finals. Jesus, just what I don't need... more caffeine.

Tomorrow I will just review. Oh, I also need to finish buying Christmas present. Er.

anyways... I'm going to go... chill. Maybe I'll even sleep early? Lately I've been sleeping much more than usual. Ironic considering its finals week.
the budgets... they keep coming.   
01:55am 05/12/2005
  I swear. I feel like lately all I do is work on budgets. I should be writing essays... not budgets. Ah.

Today was good though. I realized my final isn't until next week... which is good. I was tripping earlier.

I went home because I forgot my power cord, and ended up helping my mom decorate the Christmas tree. That was nice

I'm sleepy. We have a frybread sale tomorrow. I have to wake up in a few hours to finish the agendas, the budgets, and to prep for the sale.

Things were better today, but I know they'll get bad in a week.

I spoke to three students today. I feel like they trust me now. I had a good hour phone session with each of them. Gooddd gooood.
Bags... under my eyes.   
10:53pm 28/11/2005
  God, sometimes I feel like such a crackhead. I drink WAY too much caffeine. I have been trying to cut down on my sugar intake. I don't want to get diabetes.

We had our first Youth Conference budget hearing. I was nervous because I had to present. All in all, it went pretty good. I did get nervous but I was able to articulate the event, the purpose, and the objectives. Hopefully they'll give us the funding we are asking for.

This morning I ditched class to go talk to a group of students at Sherman Indian H.S (a boarding school). I really enjoy talking to high school students. The class that I ditched is shit anyways. As long as I keep up with the readings... it's all gravy.

Ok. I will go now before the van leaves me... again.
11:58pm 24/11/2005
  School has been extremely hectic these past few weeks. It's been difficult sleeping a decent amount of hours. Today I promised myself that I would not do any school related/activity related work.

Today I did absolutely nothing. I didn't even really cook, except for a salad that I made with some really good balsamic vinegar. Last week I went to the farmer's market with my friend and he bough an almost $20 bottle that was super good. Now I've been craving it. Hmm... maybe I'll buy some next time I go.

I watched Bring It On without knowing it was that movie (it was on tv and I started watching it about halfway through). Aha, yeah. There was a Southpart episode that made fun of it. I wasn't sure what they were referring to, but now I know.

Anyways, I shoulf stop bumming around and actually get dressed.
03:24am 19/11/2005
  Tonight we had a "native american movie night." Aha, fun times. We watched "Smoke Signals" and then "The Doors" (yeah, I know, not quite American Indian). Then we decided to go watch the new Harry Potter movie.

Today I didn't do shit. I really needed my break. I refused to go into the office for more than 10 minutes because I'm starting to get overwhelmed being in there so much.

Tomorrow I am going to be productive and write my paper and finish the budget proposals. I think I'm getting the hang of writing budgets. They aren't as scary as I thought.
Ny... ohhh yeahhhh...   
07:40am 16/11/2005
mood: excited
I submitted my application and I'm going to New York this summer to study.


Lately things have been better. Very busy, but better. The only bad thing is that I am sick. Er.

Anyways, must. go. now.
... drama?   
12:58pm 28/10/2005
  I guess things are good, although I really need to catch up with school. I've been so focused on AISA and everything else, that that has been set aside. I'm not too behind, I just need to be more efficient with my study time.

All in all, I can't really complain though. I'm very very excited how AIR is going right now. Apparently the other projects are jealous of our bomb staff dynamics. The thing is, we don't treat it as a job, more as a social/group/friend event. It makes things so much more enjoyable. Yesterday we went to go present to the AISES meeting (American Indian Society of Engineering and Sciences). Damn, south campus people are so different. They were a bit intimidating, but it was fun. I really like the AISES president. He volunteers for our project and he comes to our AISA meetings too. I promised him I'd start going to his meeting as well. The bonds need to be built between the small orgs.

Native American Heritage Month starts next week. I want to bring in a drum group. There needs to be more exposure. Many people think the AI community is dead. We'll see if this time the drum group doesn't flake on me...

Oh yeah! Yesterday was really cool. I went to the PISA (Pacific Islander Student Association) culture cooking night event. The focus was Tonga. MM... Tongan food is pretty damn good. They had this awesome fish, and the dessert was this coconut chocolate bread thingy. It's not usual bread though because its made of coconut milk and flour.

But yes.

I will get going. I need to print out an agenda for our YC meeting and try to redecorate the board outside.

08:34am 25/10/2005
mood: back.hurts.
Damn. I'm so tired. In the past week and the past few days I've been getting average 4 hours of sleep.

At least I finished my papers.

AISA is good, it's been consuming my life though. I practically live in our lounge right now.

Despite the lack of sleep and dwindled energy, I'm really excited about today. I'm doing the fastathon. So no food until I get back from site. I don't mind the food part, but I am having a hard time already because I can't drink green tea or chew gum. Well, I don't think I can so I'm not going to do it. It's for a good cause, and plus, it'll teach me to have self control.

I'm looking forward to site today. It's the best part of my week I think. Hopefully a lot of volunteers show up like they did last week.

Ok. I should really go.

Ok. One last thing.

Penguins has the best fucking pumpkin ice cream right now. Last night me and my friend Brooke walked to Westwood to get some. I really should have been a)sleeping or b) finishing my paper, but I REALLY wanted ice cream. Damn, one less hour of snoozing for ice cream? Hell yeah.

Hmm... maybe I'll go get some again when I get back from site.
11:37pm 19/10/2005
  This past week I have been spending an avewrage of 17 hours on campus (19 on Monday!). I get tired sometimes, and even have to take a nap in the AISA lounge, but overall, things are good.

I really enjoy most of my classes, although I do not feel I am putting in as much effort as I should be. My problem is that I think aloud, and when I want to formulate my thoughts, its usually not very coherent. That's why most of the time I do not feel comfortable speaking in larger group settings.

It's so strange though, in other instances I'm very good at projecting my voice. Eh, I'm still working on it.

Today I went to site again, as a volunteer. I miss the students from the Wednesday site. I really enjoyed going there during the summer. This year our project is kicking major ass. We were able to get a ton of volunteers (to the point that we all didn't fit in the car). It was a very good feeling. My students seem to be taking our project a lot more seriously and actually participating. I'm getting to know most of them very well, and that definitely makes me want to return.

I'm actually not really stressed out about school. I've hit a point where I've just accepted that getting so overwhelmed is not going to make the situation any better. Although I am busy and usually really tired, I'm I think this quarter is becoming turning out to be a great experience. I do need to sleep though. I'm still at school. I've been coming home around 12:30 every night. I come back to campus around 7ish. I'm going to get MORE bags under my eyes.

On Friday I'm going to Knott's Scary Farm... yay! I've heard mixed reactions about it and I'd like to see for myself whether or not it's up to par with my expectations of it.

The more I think about it, the more I really want to do non-profit work after I graduate. Ever since high school I've been involved in that area and its something I'd love to continue post graduation.

My back hurts. I bought a new backpack so I can bring my life with me to campus everyday (my books and my computer of course), but I think its going to break my back eventually.

I'm SO tirrrrrred.
I want to sleep.
I want to work out tomorrow morning, but I dunno if I can wake up at 6 for the 4th time in a row.

But yes. I shall go. The van might leave me again.
02:20pm 15/10/2005
  I want to go home, but I think my car is trapped. I might call my brother to pick me up.

You know you have issues when you've been working at the office for more than four three hours on a Saturday.


I'm just trying to take care of my shit.
11:46am 09/10/2005
  Every quarter since I've been in college, I usually like to set out some goals for myself. I've been thinking about this quarter's, and so far this is what I want to keep myself accountable for:

-Get straight A's
-Not get crazy stressed (which so far, I think I've been doing not so bad)
-Have a social life and meet more people, go out and not get stuck in the trap of just doing school work
-Work out at LEAST once a week
-Eat better
-Recruit more people for AISA, put on good programming, and prep well for Youth Conference
- Stay on top of my shit

Yes. Next quarter I want to work on expanding my research and perhaps even researching different graduate school programs.

This morning I've been doing my readings, filling out paper work and organizing it, and following up on people. My plan is to read 100 pages in the next hour, go work out, then write a really rough draft, or free write, for my Soc paper. Then come back, do next week's readings, and at night, make some frybread for Indigenous People Day.


So far I'm pretty happy the way things are going with AISA. Yesterday we went to the Soboba pow wow in San Bernadino. It was fun, but coooold. I really love the dancer's outfits. Probably my favorite is the fancy dancers. Oh, I really like the jingle dresses too.

My mom invited me to go to Ensenada next week. I really would like to go, but I'm not sure if I can because there are so many things coming up. I'll see this week, maybe things won't be too hectic.

Yes, now I shall go back to work.
Stupid stuff..   
02:05pm 08/10/2005
mood: chill
You Should Get a JD (Juris Doctor)

You're logical, driven, and ruthless.
You'd make a mighty fine lawyer.

So yeah. I've been thinking about what I want to do post graduation. I'm not exactly sure yet. Definitely something in public policy and education.

Yesterday we had our WInD (Women of Indian Descent) event and it went very well. It seems as though there is a much stronger sense of community in AISA this year. I hope to keep it that way, even after my term is over.

Yesterday I had a really good meeting with my CSP advisor and the facilities manager for Youth Conference. Now I have a much better sense of where to start organizing. Next week I'll delegate tasks to my committee and start working on proposals and funding grants. Man, budget cuts everywhere are really making everything difficult. Stupid governator.

Tomorrow we are going to be making dough for our frybread sale. I still need to figure out the amplification issues (no mic yet... crap). Um yeah. The fliers are made, and damn, we still don't have a speaker. I hate it when people don't fall through with what they say they will do. I also hate it when people don't respond to e-mails, or leave you hanging in general.

Perhaps next weekend I'll go. Right now I am going to finish my homework. I might go to the Saboba pow wow for a bit if I have time.

In non-dork/school news, apparently my shoulder has been dislocated for who knows how long. One of my friends that graduated last year and is currently attending USC also knows how to fix people's bone and back problems. Ever since I've been young I have a tendency to slouch or hunch, and even when I tried not to, I couldn't. Well yesterday she cracked my back and did something because now my right shoulder is higher up than it used to be. Hopefully my back problems will go away now.

Damn, I should buy a backpack too. I carry a large bag with me, and it's putting to much pressure on my shoulder.